“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” (Ephesians 5:27)
Like most couples, when Miriam and I were married many years ago we did not have a real clue about what we were doing and what marriage meant. We knew that we loved being together and we had a desire to have each other as our life long partners but we had received no training or mentoring about how we should do it. I mentioned in the last post that we were married in two different churches on the same day. The Catholic service was in Spanish and I understood most of what was said but did not recite any vows. The Prototestant service was in English and although we had rehearsed our vows a couple of times, Miriam was so nervous that when it was her turn to speak she just said: “Babada badas ba ba!” The pastor smiled and I smiled back and he then pronounced us “Man and wife.” The great part was at the reception her mom was so proud of her. She said: “I didn’t know you could speak English!”
In Paul Tripp’s Book Marriage, He has some great advice for us, and although laundry lists aren't always the best, the one he has in chapter 17 is outstanding! Here is what he has to say:
“If you believe that God is wise and true, then you will take seriously what He says, and you will willingly do the things He says are good and because you trust God, you are willing to give yourself to the toil of a good marriage. A marriage of unity; understanding, and love takes a daily commitment to work.
Perhaps one of the principal sins of a bad marriage is the sin of laziness. Being committed to the hard work that makes marriage beautiful means to you will:
–Be willing to lose sleep so an important conversation can be completed.
–Listen and consider when you have communicated a concern.
–Care about your spouse’s true needs and gladly work to meet them.
–Work to communicate with your spouse in a way that is patient and kind.
–Look for concrete ways to support and encourage your spouse.
–Do the daily work of forgiveness and reconciliation so that you and your spouse can live in peace.
–Deal with your marital differences in a way that communicates appreciation and respect.
–Make time to enjoy your physical intimacy and friendship.
–Look for ways to help your spouse bear the burden of the responsibilities that he or she carries.
–Partner with your spouse in the daily work of maintaining your physical surroundings.
–Never stop pursuing your spouse romantically.
–Do not let the sun go down on a moment of hurt, misunderstanding, or anger.
–Look for ways to encourage and develop your spiritual communion.
–Daily commit to overlooking minor offenses.
–Studiously avoid conflict over things that are not important.
–Speak in a way that gives your spouse grace.
–Encourage and support your spouse in areas of interest that you do not share.
–Be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to keep your marriage a priority.
–Daily search for verbal and nonverval ways to communicate your love.
–Do not leave a conversation until you have reached unity and understanding.
–Never demand of your spouse what you are unwilling to give.
–Continually remind your spouse that he or she is not alone in the marriage.
–Do things you wouldn’t normally do simply because they make your spouse happy.
–Fight the business that would get in the way of giving your marriage attention.
–Be willing to sacrifice personal activities and leisure for the sake of your marriage.
–Work so your spouse has the downtime, rest, and retreat he or she needs.
-Work to build relationships of love and respect with your family.
–Do not stop working until your marriage is all God intended it to be.
(Paul David Tripp, Marriage, pp. 314-316)
PRAY
Oh, Lord, how magnificent You are and gracious to provide marriage for us that allows us to have a partner and a helper to go through the joys and rigors of this world you have created for us.
Thank you for the precious person You have provided for me to be my partner for life. Thank you for her/his differences that help me to see You, and life with different eyes and different perspectives. Help me to love her/him the way You love me!
I praise You Lord for being such a loving and long-suffering God that is always patient with me and always ready to meet with me and to forgive me of my sin and my stubbornness in allowing You to transform me into someone more like You.
No comments:
Post a Comment