Marriage, part II

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” (Ephesians 5:27)

    Like most couples, when Miriam and I were married many years ago we did not have a real clue about what we were doing and what marriage meant. We knew that we loved being together and we had a desire to have each other as our life long partners but we had received no training or mentoring about how we should do it. I mentioned in the last post that we were married in two different churches on the same day. The Catholic service was in Spanish and I understood most of what was said but did not recite any vows. The Prototestant service was in English and although we had rehearsed our vows a couple of times, Miriam was so nervous that when it was her turn to speak she just said: “Babada badas ba ba!” The pastor smiled and I smiled back and he then pronounced us “Man and wife.” The great part was at the reception her mom was so proud of her. She said:  “I didn’t know you could speak English!”

    In Paul Tripp’s Book Marriage, He has some great advice for us, and although laundry lists aren't always the best, the one he has in chapter 17 is outstanding! Here is what he has to say:

   “If you believe that God is wise and true, then you will take seriously what He says, and you will willingly do the things He says are good and because you trust God, you are willing to give yourself to the toil of a good marriage. A marriage of unity; understanding, and love takes a daily commitment to work. 

     Perhaps one of the principal sins of a bad marriage is the sin of laziness. Being committed to the hard work that makes marriage beautiful means to you will:

–Be willing to lose sleep so an important conversation can be completed.

–Listen and consider when you have communicated a concern.

–Care about your spouse’s true needs and gladly work to meet them.

–Work to communicate with your spouse in a way that is patient and kind.

–Look for concrete ways to support and encourage your spouse.

–Do the daily work of forgiveness and reconciliation so that you and your spouse can live in peace. 

–Deal with your marital differences in a way that communicates appreciation and respect. 

–Make time to enjoy your physical intimacy and friendship.

–Look for ways to help your spouse bear the burden of the responsibilities that he or she carries.

–Partner with your spouse in the daily work of maintaining your physical surroundings.

–Never stop pursuing your spouse romantically.

–Do not let the sun go down on a moment of hurt, misunderstanding, or anger.

–Look for ways to encourage and develop your spiritual communion.

–Daily commit to overlooking minor offenses.

–Studiously avoid conflict over things that are not important.

–Speak in a way that gives your spouse grace.

–Encourage and support your spouse in areas of interest that you do not share.

–Be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to keep your marriage a priority.

–Daily search for verbal and nonverval ways to communicate your love. 

–Do not leave a conversation until you have reached unity and understanding.

–Never demand  of your spouse what you are unwilling to give.

–Continually remind your spouse that he or she is not alone in the marriage.

–Do things you wouldn’t normally do simply because they make your spouse happy.

–Fight the business that would get in the way of giving your marriage attention.

–Be willing to sacrifice personal activities  and leisure for the sake of your marriage.

–Work so your spouse has the downtime, rest, and retreat he or she needs.

-Work to build relationships of love and respect with your family.

–Do not stop working until your marriage is all God intended it to be. 

(Paul David Tripp, Marriage, pp. 314-316)

PRAY

1. Oh, Lord, how magnificent You are and gracious to provide marriage for us that allows us to have a partner and a helper to go through the joys and rigors of this world you have created for us.

2. Thank you for the precious person You have provided for me to be my partner for life. Thank you for her/his differences that help me to see You, and life with different eyes and different perspectives. Help me to love her/him the way You love me!

3. I praise You Lord for being such a loving and long-suffering God that is always patient with me and always ready to meet with me and to forgive me of my sin and my stubbornness in allowing You to transform me into someone more like You. 

Marriage

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

    In June1971, I asked a beautiful young lady named Miriam to be my wife, and she surprisingly said: Yes! We set our wedding date for March 4th 1972 in Caracas, Venezuela, after I had finished nine months of Army training. We would then move to our first home in Berlin, Germany where I was to be stationed. I didn’t know when I got on that  plane for Caracas that last week in February,1972, but I also had to get married at a civil ceremony on February 26th and that my father-in-law to be, had scheduled two services on March 4th, one Catholic and one Protestant! Miriam’s family was nominally Catholic and I had been raised a Methodist. (His logic was that Miriam could decide at a later date if she wanted to continue as a Catholic or become a Protestant like her husband.)

    So we got married 3 times in one week so, we always have said: “we are so married there is no chance for a divorce ever!” There were never any doubts that we would live up to our vows of “till death do us part” just as my grandparents and parents had. We learned little by little in the coming years the need to always consider the others feelings, desires, and wishes and to work hard at learning to agree to every big or small decision and to especially work hard to raise our children properly. 

    After both of us became born again believers in Christ, we started to become aware of how important it was to have God involved in all our decisions and actions. Of course, we didn’t always do it right. We had been married 25 years when I first understood and began working hard to “love my wife the way Christ loves the Church.”

    We have been married 50 years now and we are just now reading the best book we have ever read about Marriage, appropriately titled: Marriage, by Paul David Tripp (My new favorite author!) The following is a small example of the priceless gems Mr. Tripp shares in this book and I hope it will encourage you in your marriage:

    “Humbly admit your ongoing struggle. The good news of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ is that you have all the help you will ever need to face whatever is written into your life by the one who is writing your story. But you must humbly face the fact that until you are in his final kingdom, where sin, suffering, and death are no more, you will need his rescue, forgiveness, empowerment, and deliverance moment by moment every day. You will never become a grace graduate! This means there will never be a point in your marriage where you can just lay back, chill out, and coast. As long as sin still lives inside you, with its self-focused, antisocial instincts, you need to live with open eyes, listening ears, and an approachable heart.”

     “None of us is yet all that grace is able to cause us to be. None of our marriages is all that God has designed each of them to be. No one reading this can say, ‘Our marriage is perfect without need of growth in any way.’ We all must confess that every day we struggle with sin. Every day we say and do what is wrong. Every day we desire things we should not have and think things we should not think.. Every day we fall once again into living for ourselves rather than for God and others. We don’t celebrate who God has made our husbands and wives to be in the way that we should…..We want things done our way rather than having to consider another way or being required to admit that there is a way that may be better than ours. We don’t want to admit that there are ways in which our husbands or wives are stronger or more mature than we are….  We don’t like having to live with differences.”

    “Your King and Savior is at work, even when you have given up. He loves you even when you don’t have sense enough to love one another or to love him in return. He is working outside you to produce in you a sense of need, and working inside you to give you what you need. You never face a disappointment, temptation, responsibility, obligation, opportunity, or calling without the resources of his grace. When you are weak and exhausted, his strength gives you reason to go on. When you are confused and don’t know what to do, his wisdom gives you direction. In moments when you feel wounded and alone, he comforts you with his loving and healing hands. When you have lost the way, he seeks you and finds you and brings you back.”

   “Your hope of a long-term, loving marriage is found in one place—God’s love for you. Admit that you need it and then give yourself to celebrating that this God of love has brought you and your spouse together for his glory and your good. And remember, he will not call you to a task without giving you, in his grace, what you need to do it. (Marriage by Paul David Tripp, pp. 258-259)

PRAY

1. Lord, we beseech you to help everyone of us who is married to remember that our spouse has been chosen by You to be our loving partner for life and that we have been chosen by You to be their loving partner also. 

2. Help us to love each other just the way You love us by constantly being patient with our sinfulness, our unfaithfulness, our rebelliousness, and our stubbornness.

3. Fill us with Your Spirit everyday, and draw close to us to help us through every trial, obstacle, and challenge that we face in this fallen world.

     

     

Men Who Paid Freedoms Price

     “Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, The people He has chosen as His own inheritance.” (Psalms 33:10, NKJV)

          This July 4th is a good time to sit back and remember just what took place 246 years ago at Independence Hall in Philadelphia, PA. One of the most famous documents of this country (and I dare say, “the world” ) was signed: The Declaration of Independence. We might forget that although these rebels were declaring their independence from England, they were also declaring their dependence on God. The last words of this document declare: 

    "With a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.”

    “The fifty-six courageous men who signed that document understood that this was not just high sounding rhetoric. They knew if they succeeded, the best they could expect would be years of hardship in a struggling new nation. If they lost, they would face a hangman’s noose as traitors.”

    “Of the fifty-six, few were long to survive. Five were captured by the British and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes, from Rhode Island to Charleston, sacked, looted, occupied by the enemy, or burned.Two lost their sons in the army. One had two  sons captured. Nine of the fifty-six died in the war, from its hardships or its bullets.”(The Rebirth of America, 1986, Arthur DeMoss Foundation, p.15)

   The men who wrote the Declaration were not wild eyed fanatics but realists who understood just what they had done and were willing to pay the price to establish a new country  conceived in liberty and justice for all, under the protection of their God. John Adams, a future president said: “I am well aware of the toil, and blood, and treasure it will cost to maintain this document, and support this declaration, and support and defend these states; yet through all the gloom I can see the rays of light and glory. I can see the end is worth more than all the means.” Ibid,p.16

   

   These men understood just what they were doing and in whom they were depending on to help them start this new country. Just like the Scripture at the top of this venette states: In order for a nation to be blessed, it needs to be a “nation whose God is the LORD.” It also means that it was not men’s idea to start this nation. 

     It was God who chose this nation to be a lighthouse to the world for the Gospel. Just like Jesus said about his disciples : “You did not choose Me, but I chose you….” (John 15:16a)

The question that we need to ask then is; if He chose me and He chose this nation, what are we doing to live up to His expectations as “cities set upon a hilltop” to carry the Gospel to our neighbor and to the “uttermost parts of the world?”

PRAY

1. Lord, help me to remember today that You are the one who chose me to be your disciple and to live for You every day of my short life.

2. Fill me with Your Spirit so that I may be bold in my witness for You today and look for ways to show Your love to those I come in contact with today.

3. Thank You for dying on that cross so that I might be cleansed of all my sins and be adopted as your precious child!

That's not my dog!

 

 

 

     “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31: 6)

 

    My wife, Miriam, doesn’t care much for animals in her house. She doesn't like the hair all over or the occasional "wet dog smell" you have to live with from time to time. We owned two dogs during our first 15 years of marriage but not since. One day, ten years after we were dog-free, her good friend said that she had an appointment to take her son’s dog to the vet but she had another conflict and could not do it. Miriam volunteered for the job! The dog’s name was Duchess and she was a cute little terrier mix. 

 

    Miriam arrived at the vet and immediately entered a waiting room in total chaos. Dogs were barking, cats were cowering, and an occasional animal would poop or pee on the floor requiring their owners to clean up the mess. Duchess cowered under Miriam’s chair and shook violently with fear of the other animals and the vet too! Miriam said she felt a little bit proud because “her” dog was not causing any trouble. She was a good, well-behaved dog, not like these other animals! She says she was really feeling like she was so blessed to have such a trouble-free dog and was glad Duchess was behaving so much better than the others!

 

   When they finally called Miriam and Duchess to see the vet, she took Duchess by the lease and dragged her into the exam room. Immediately after entering the exam room Duchess decided to poop on the floor. The doctor then instructed Miriam to pick up the dog and put her on the table and to then clean up the mess. Suddenly Miriam panicked and she was overcome with fear. She had not been prepared for this and immediately froze and backed up against the wall. The doctor again repeated his requests and Miriam could only mutter these words, as she continued to push her back against the wall: “That’s not my dog!”

 

     Have you ever found yourself in a position of fear because of a situation you were not familiar with caused you to freeze up and not function properly? Are there certain situations you are just not comfortable with and don’t know how to respond the way you wish you could? I am sure you can all think of something like that. But what do we do when confronted by fear or uncertainty? 

 

    In the Scripture above Moses is charging Joshua to be strong and of good courage. What was Joshua faced with? Well, he was in charge of 2 million people who were getting ready to invade a region of many different tribes of peoples and armies with fortified cities that were not going to let his people waltz on in and take over the land where they live. No, they were going to fight!

 

   Moses’ advice to Joshua is as good for you and I when we are faced with a daunting task to accomplish or a personal fear to overcome. Our God will be with us no matter the circumstance of difficulty that is in our face and causing us to tremble a little, or a lot. If Jesus is your Lord and Savior, He resides in you, and goes with you wherever you go and He will “never leave you nor forsake you!”

 

 

    Jesus when He gave His last instructions to His disciples, He ended with these words: “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20b)

 

 

PRAY

 

1.     Lord, help me today to remember that You have promised to never leave me nor forsake me. I know I can trust in You!

2.     Fill me with Your Spirit today and guide me along whatever path You have chosen for me and help me to be obedient to all that You require of me today.

3.     Lord, give Me courage to boldly tell someone today, how You have changed my life for good, and how You have blessed me with your lovingkindness and mercy.

 

    

"He Is Not Here: For He is risen!!"

 

   “Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door and sat on it. His countenance was like lightning and his clothing as white as snow. And the guards shook for fear of him, and became like dead men. But the angel answered and said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for He is risen as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.’” (Matthew 28:1-6 NKJV)

 

   Wow! What a magnificent day we celebrate today! Mary Magdalene and the other Mary witnessed an angel descend from heaven, roll the stone away from the tomb where Jesus had been placed Friday afternoon, and now he declared that “He is risen as He said!"And how about that picture in your mind of those tough Roman soldiers knocked down and looking like dead men? All four Gospel accounts of the resurrection paint us a little more of the picture of that glorious day that proved once and for all that Jesus was who He claimed to be. He had risen from the dead and shown without doubt that He, and He alone, has power over death! Yes, He had raised Lazarus and others from the dead previously, but now He has raised Himself also!

 

    Do you really believe that? If you do believe that Christ died on the cross for your sins, was raised from the dead, and confess with your mouth this truth, the Bible says you will be saved. (Romans 10:9-11) If you have made that change to your life, you are now a child of God and you have been born again into the family of God.

 

   Today we can marvel and rejoice over the Good News that Jesus Christ has risen from the dead, He has risen indeed! What He predicted He would do, He did. He has proven that He has power over death and the grave and that all who “call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Acts 2:21) Let us live for Him today, and for every other day He gives us to serve on this earth.

 

 

PRAY

 

1.    Lord, help me to take time today to rejoice over what Christ has done for me on the cross by taking all my sins (past, present, and future) and nailing  them to that tree. 

2.    Help me never to forget that Jesus bought me and paid for me at a tremendous cost, and that my is desire to live my life to serve and please Him.

3.    Lord, help me to learn to love those around me that are hard to love. Help me to see them as You see them and love them because You have told me to do it with joy and thanksgiving in my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus, our Messiah!

  

   “The next day a great multitude that had come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, took branches of palm trees and went out to meet Him, and cried out: ‘Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD! The King of Israel!’ Then Jesus, when He had found a young donkey, sat on it; as it is written: ‘Fear not, daughter of Zion; Behold, your King is coming, Sitting on a donkey’s colt.’” (John 12:12-15, NKJV) (Verse 15 quotes Zechariah 9:9)

 

   What an exiting day that must have been for the disciples of Christ to see the people shouting “Hosanna,” and waving the palm branches and laying them on the road to make a “royal carpet” for the Lord to travel along on His lowly donkey as He entered Jerusalem on that glorious day! Not only was the prophecy of Zechariah being fulfilled right before their very eyes, but also the prophecy of Daniel was being fulfilled, although they were probably not aware of just how dramatic that fulfillment was!

    

   In the book of Daniel, verse 9:25, that awesome man of God living his life in Babylonian captivity, wrote these words: “Know therefore and understand, That from the going forth of the command To restore and build Jerusalem Until Messiah the Prince, There shall be seven weeks and sixty-two weeks; The street shall be built again, and the wall, Even in troublesome times.”

 

   This Scripture indicates that 69 weeks (weeks of years) after the order to rebuild the temple was commanded buy the King of Persia, the Messiah would come to His people, the Jews. Pastor David Jeremiah penned these words about this prophecy:

 

    “The sixty-nine weeks began with March 14^th445 B.C., when Artaxerxes’ decree went forward. We need to remember that the weeks are counted as years and each year had 360 days. Simple calculation of this time element is this: 69 weeks (of years) x 7 (days of a week)= 483 x 360 (days in a year) = 173,800. Now if you take March 14, 445 B.C., when the decree to rebuild Jerusalem went forth, and add to it 173,800 days, you come to April 6, A.D. 32. According to Sir Robert Anderson in his chronology, it was on that day that Jesus Christ rode into the city in His triumphal entry.” (The Handwriting on the Wall” by David Jeremiah, p. 195)

 

   What more can we say or think about this Man called Jesus Christ? He is the predicted Messiah for the Jewish people and the Son of God that He claimed to be and He came just as the ancient prophets foretold so that we could know without a doubt that He is who he claimed to be: the Savior of the world who gave up His life as a ransom for all who will believe in Him and surrender to His Lordship in their lives.

   

  How about you this glorious day that we remember our Lord fulfilling prophecy just a few days before He would die on a cross for you and of me? Has there ever been a day when you have repented of your sins, professed your belief in him with you lips, and surrendered your life to His loving control. Today would be a great day if you have not! If you have given your life over to Him are you truly being obedient to His teachings? Also, today would be a great day to dedicate your life to Him anew and be a faithful disciple, making other disciples.

 

 

“that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” (Romans 10:9-10)

 

 

PRAY

 

 

1.     Holy Spirit pleas fill me today and help me to serve Him in my family, and in my church and help me to see who I can minster too in His name today.

2.    Help me Lord to spend time in Your Scriptures today and everyday this week so that my heart will be prepared to celebrate Your glorious resurrection on Easter Sunday and that I will be a witness to others of your wonderful grace and mercy.

3.    Lord, place those people on my heart and in my path this week so that I can invite them to celebrate your resurrection with me at our church this Easter.

4.    Lord be with the Christians in Ukraine and give them strength and courage to stand strong for you, no matter the circumstances or hardships.

 

 

 

Absurd, you say?

 

   “Joseph also went up from Galilee out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife who was with child. So it was that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:4-7)

 

  Most of us have heard these verses so many times that we don’t think about them too much. But what about someone who is hearing it for the first time? Pastor Max Lucado in his book “God Came Near” tells of an encounter between a pastor and a first time hearer of the history of Jesus. I hope you enjoy!

 

       “You mean to tell me God became a baby….

 

      The one posing the question was puzzled. His thick eyebrows furrowed in doubt and his eyes squinted in caution. Though there were places to sit, he opted not to do so. He preferred to stand safely behind the crowd, unsure, yet intrigued by what he was hearing. Throughout the lecture he had listened intently, occasionally uncrossing his arms to stroke his whiskered chin. Now, however, he stood upright, punching the air with his finger as he queried.

 

           And that he was born in a stable?”

 

           He looked as though he’d walked down from one of the adjacent Colorado mountains: stocking hat, down vest, nylon leggings, hiking boots. And he sounded as though he honestly didn’t know if the story he was hearing was a mountain legend or the gospel truth. 

 

       “Yes, that is what I meant to say,” the lecturer responded. 

 

           “And then, after becoming a baby, he was raised in a blue-collar home? He never wrote a book or held any offices, yet he called himself the Son of God?”

         

      “That is right.”

 

    The lecturer being questioned was Landon Saunders; the voice of the Heartbeat Radio program. I’ve never heard anyone tell the story of the Nazarene like Landon can. 

         “He never traveled outside his own country, never studied at a university, never lived in a palace, and yet asked to be regarded as the creator of the universe?”

 

         “That’s correct.”

 

        “And this crucifixion story…he was betrayed by his own people? No followers came to his defense? And then he was executed like a common junkyard thief?”

 

          “That’s the gist of it.”

 

         The authenticity of the questioner didn’t allow you to regard him as a cynic nor to dismiss him as a show-off. To the contrary, he seemed nervous about commanding attention. His awkwardness betrayed his inexperience in public speaking. But his desire to know was just an ounce or two heavier that his discomfort, so he continued.

 

      “And after the killing he was buried in a borrowed grave?”

 

   “Yes, he had no grave of his own, nor money with which to purchase one.”

 

    “There was a hint of emotion in the student’s voice as he carefully worded the next question. 

         “And according to what’s written, after three days in the grave he was resurrected and made appearances to over five hundred people?”

 

        “Yes.”

 

       “And all this was to prove that God still loves his people and provides a way for us to return to him?”

 

       “Right”

 

   I knew which question was coming next. Everybody in the room knew it. It could have gone without being asked. In my heart of hearts, I was hoping that it would not be asked. 

 

   “Doesn’t that all sound rather…” He paused a second, searching for the right adjective. “Doesn’t that all sound rather absurd?”

 

      Landon’s answer was simple. “Yes. Yes I suppose it does sound absurd, doesn’t it?”

 

    I didn’t like that answer. I didn’t like it at all. Tell the fellow how it made sense! Diagram the dispensations. Present the fulfilled prophecies. Explain the fulfillment of the Old Law. Covenant. Reconciliation. Redemption. Sure it made sense. Don’t let him describe God’s actions as absurd!

 

   Then it began to dawn on me. What God did makes sense. It makes sense that Jesus would be our sacrifice because a sacrifice was needed to justify man’s presence before God. It makes sense that God would use the Old Law to tutor Israel on their need for grace. It makes sense that Jesus would be our High Priest. What God did makes sense. It can be taught, charted, and put in books on systematic theology. 

 

   However why God did it is absolutely absurd. When one leaves the method and examines the motive, the carefully stacked blocks of logic begin to tumble. That type of love isn’t logical; it can’t be neatly outlined in a sermon or explained in a term paper.

 

   I don’t know what happened to that inquisitive fellow in Colorado. He disappeared as quickly as he came. But I am in his debt. He forced me to see Jesus as I’d never seen him.

 

      Bloodstained royalty. A God with tears. A creator with a heart. God became earth’s mockery to save his children.

 

   How absurd to think that such nobility would go to such poverty to share a treasure with such thankless souls.

 

   But he did.

 

    In fact, the only thing more absurd than the gift is our stubborn unwillingness to receive it.” 

 

 (“Absurdity in the Flesh” from the book “God Came Near,” by Max Lucado, pp. 29-34)

 

How about you this Christmas season? Are you thinking at all about the Creator of the Universe Who came to earth as a baby, lived His life to show us who God is, and then allowed Himself to be crucified on an cross to be a perfect sacrifice for our sins?

 

  Or are you caught up in the real absurdity of this world, worrying about presents you are going to buy or receive, Santa Claus, and dinner with the family? Not bad things by themselves but really pretty trivial in light of what God has done for us, not because we deserve it, but because He just loves us and wants to have a personal relationship with each one this Christmas! Oh yeah, He wants one for the rest of the year too!

 

PRAY

 

1.)  Dear precious Jesus, thank you for leaving Your throne in heaven and coming down to be born of a virgin in a stable in the town of Bethlehem. 

2.)  Thank you for revealing Your coming to Joseph and Mary, to the shepherds in the fields that night, and to the Wise men who came from afar to worship You and bring you gifts.

3.)  Thank you that I can call You my precious Savior because You died for me and for anyone who will call upon Your Name, and receive You into their life and allow You to rule over them.